What is the creepiest thing your child has ever said to you?

Past and present. You can't make this stuff up.
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Doc
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What is the creepiest thing your child has ever said to you?

Post by Doc »

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comme ... est_thing/
I was tucking in my two year old. He said "Good bye dad." I said, "No, we say good night." He said "I know. But this time its good bye."

Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was still there.
I jokingly asked: "What's the best way to get a girlfriend?"

7-year-old's response: "Tell her to be my girlfriend or she'll never see her parents again."
My 3 year old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for awhile then turned and looked at me and said, "Daddy its a monster..we should bury it."
Why are you crying?

"Bad man"

What bad man?

"There." Points behind me at a dark corner of the room

Lamp on bookshelf next to said darkened corner falls off as soon as I turn to look.

She slept in our bed that night
I don't have kids, but once, visiting some friends on a farm, my buddy's youngest girl (5 or 6) at the time, was afraid of the chickens. I tried to explain to her that the chickens weren't there to hurt us but she wasn't having it.

So I'm sitting around the fire pit, looking at one of the chickens a few feet in front of me when I feel hot breath in my ear as she whispers:

"See. He's always watching."

Horrific and hysterical all at once.
To which I might add:

My son, when he was three, was walking with his mother and myself when a pregnant women was walking toward us. My son saw her and asked his mother "Mommy that woman has a baby in her tummy" to which his mother answered "yes she does" Then my son asked her "Is the doctor going to get a knife and cut it out?" The pregnant woman turned around and walked the other way.

My son had recently seen the pictures of his birth by c-section.
"I fancied myself as some kind of god....It is a sort of disease when you consider yourself some kind of god, the creator of everything, but I feel comfortable about it now since I began to live it out.” -- George Soros
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Miss_Faucie_Fishtits
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Joined: Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:58 pm

Re: What is the creepiest thing your child has ever said to

Post by Miss_Faucie_Fishtits »

........"why do the worms like goin' in yer butt?"..............
She irons her jeans, she's evil.........
Demon of Undoing
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Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2012 8:14 pm

Re: What is the creepiest thing your child has ever said to

Post by Demon of Undoing »

" I need to borrow your sword."
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Azrael
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Re: What is the creepiest thing your child has ever said to

Post by Azrael »

Doc wrote:To which I might add:

My son, when he was three, was walking with his mother and myself when a pregnant women was walking toward us. My son saw her and asked his mother "Mommy that woman has a baby in her tummy" to which his mother answered "yes she does" Then my son asked her "Is the doctor going to get a knife and cut it out?" The pregnant woman turned around and walked the other way.

My son had recently seen the pictures of his birth by c-section.
You showed the pictures to your son? When he was three?

I hate to break it to you, Doc; but your son isn't the one who is creepy.
cultivate a white rose
Simple Minded

Re: What is the creepiest thing your child has ever said to

Post by Simple Minded »

Azrael wrote:
Doc wrote:To which I might add:

My son, when he was three, was walking with his mother and myself when a pregnant women was walking toward us. My son saw her and asked his mother "Mommy that woman has a baby in her tummy" to which his mother answered "yes she does" Then my son asked her "Is the doctor going to get a knife and cut it out?" The pregnant woman turned around and walked the other way.

My son had recently seen the pictures of his birth by c-section.
You showed the pictures to your son? When he was three?

I hate to break it to you, Doc; but your son isn't the one who is creepy.
Sometimes, ya gotta break em in early..... :)

like they used to say "18's a man, and sometimes 3!" ;)

When my niece was about two or three, her gandmother was helping her stop dawdling by grabbing her arm and giving her a little pull. In a deep, loud, gutteral voice that would have made Satan proud, my niece said "I'M GONNA RIP YOUR ARM OFF!"
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Doc
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Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2012 6:10 pm

Re: What is the creepiest thing your child has ever said to

Post by Doc »

Azrael wrote:
Doc wrote:To which I might add:

My son, when he was three, was walking with his mother and myself when a pregnant women was walking toward us. My son saw her and asked his mother "Mommy that woman has a baby in her tummy" to which his mother answered "yes she does" Then my son asked her "Is the doctor going to get a knife and cut it out?" The pregnant woman turned around and walked the other way.

My son had recently seen the pictures of his birth by c-section.
You showed the pictures to your son? When he was three?

I hate to break it to you, Doc; but your son isn't the one who is creepy.
He found the pictures. Then his mother had to explain to him.
"I fancied myself as some kind of god....It is a sort of disease when you consider yourself some kind of god, the creator of everything, but I feel comfortable about it now since I began to live it out.” -- George Soros
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