Fake News from Forum Participants

[Hoosiernorm]

Well since we are missing a number of forum participants due to holidays and personal and family business I think that we should start a thread to explain their absence to the rest of the board.

Sparky is too busy marketing his newest invention the electronic olympic torch vaporizing cigarette which has become a European hit during the build up to the olympic games. He spends his evening hand building them and his morning selling them to American tourists who have no taste what so ever. The French tourists find it a cheap knock off of a superior model that is built to look like the Eiffel Tower and with current exchange rates they can't afford it anyway.

An is still stranded in Asia but doesn't seem to mind. Her pilgrimage to find inner peace took much longer than anticipated largely due to her running into the Dali Lama who was also visiting the area. After several months of An explaining to him the meaning of life he paused and told her "I gotta get back to the states babe, tell me the rest in my next life time!" .

Enki is in Tennessee taking a crash course in serpent handling and evangelical cultural exchange. Upon his arrival his host family explained to him there wouldn't be any internet service because of their not having electricity. The immediate shock of being cut off from his twitter feed caused him to collapse into a coma. They are now currently praying at his bed side for him to regain consciousness so that they can teach him all about Jesus and snakes and how to sing all old fashony like the apostles did.

[Hoosiernorm]

Apollonius is busy listening to beautiful music but when he finds something that he wishes to share with the group he unfortunately has smoked to much marijuana and can't remember his log in password. He then decides to play harpsichord instead while eating Doritos.

[Hoosiernorm]

Cincinnatus left for a deployment to Guam and after 14 months of sweating non stop logged back into the forum and was flagged by the department of homeland defense because of the amount of stories posted by Azeri. They thought that the forum had become a Persian news forum due to the amount of Iranian news and cultural posts. After logging in the google bot sent a message to SATCOM which designated him a threat to US security and he was court martialed for being a subversive. He is now doing hard labor flying drone missions from a detention facility in Poland. Good news, the weather is much better there.

[Hoosiernorm]

Hans Bulvai is taking time from his new job, family , and the forum to work as a road crew member for Ozz Fest and is spending the summer jamming to the best metal bands in the world.

[Hoosiernorm]

cdgt is busy on the set of the newest television drama to hit cable television. He plays a much younger Chuck Norris in a new series to hit spike tv this fall. The production of "White, Tight, and Right" is the story of how Chuck Norris fought against the Lib Commies in Hollywood to become America's favorite right wing columnist and bad ass.

[Hoosiernorm]

Ibrahim is back in China after a brief stop off in Canada. He is currently doing his Turkish Elvis show at the new Venetian Hotel and Casino in mainland China. His version of "Love me Tender" always gets a standing ovation.

[YMix]

[Typhoon]

Brilliant.

[Miss_Faucie_Fishtits]

I got engaged.......;>...............

[YMix]

Fake congratulations, Lizzardgrrl!

[Hoosiernorm]

That is good fake news! My wife cleaned the house, cooked dinner for me and then made love to me for hours! My children threw their Ipod, Ipad, Kindle Fire, Nintendo DS, and Wii into the trash and now spend all afternoon reading books. I caught my son in our bathroom with the door closed and this time he was cleaning the sink!

[Demon of Undoing]

Even my fake good news is boring.

[Hoosiernorm]

Even my fake good news is boring.

Give some time I'll think of something for you.

[Typhoon]

I got engaged.......;>...............

Who is the faux lucky gal or guy?

[Simple Minded]

I got engaged.......;>...............

Who is the faux lucky gal or guy?

assuming Sharia law prevails in MN, it is probably a male first cousin or even her brother......

or if, LG joined the church of LDS, it may be both......

either way, I am hoping for many productive, taxpaying offspring to pay for the societal benefits to which I am entitled as a resident of a compassionate first world Western democratic country...

I'm gonna need hairplugs and sunscreen, food stamps and liposuction, teef and candy, if I can't get the liposuction, I'ma gonna need knees, hips and a free scooter, viagrara and condums, cigarettes and chemo therapy, hearing aids, glasses, free health care including ambulance rides to the ER, a malpractise lawyer on retainer.......

That does not include the basics like housing subsidies, free internet access to porn sites and my elected officials' home pages.....

Hopefully none of LG's kids will look like me..... If any of her kids do look like me, I have a kickass lawsuit against my vet..... unless of course he promises to refund the $49.95 he charged to neuter me....... first documented failure of the ACA?

[Hoosiernorm]

DOU is injured during a combat arts exhibition when an errant nunchuck strikes him in the head causing extensive trauma. During his waning recovery it is discovered that his conscious mind only responds to Donny Osmond albums. The make a wish foundation sees a local news story about D's freak accident and decides to send him to Salt Lake City so that he can be cared for by members of the Osmond family and have Donny read the book of Mormon to him via a special collectors addition 8 track tape that is only available to the senior members of the Church of LDS.
He has gained consciousness after months of therapy and hours of Donny Osmond but complains that he is not sure that he always ate Mayonnaise white bread sandwiches, doesn't remember any of the words to a single Grateful Dead Song, and for some reason wants to wear a white collared shirt with a tie and back pack while pushing a bicycle around suburban residential areas trying to be nice to everyone while humming Puppy Love to himself. He no longer practices marital arts and spends his spare time making religious arts and crafts out of egg cartons, popsicle sticks, and pre cooked macaroni.

[Hoosiernorm]

Azeri is repatriated back to Iran after the Canadian government decides that it is only going to accept Chinese immigrants into it's border. After reestablishing her native culture she is appointed head of the Ministry of Repatriation. Her job is to set up a hockey league that is sharia compliant so that other Canadian expatriates can accommodate themselves back into Persian society. Due to the lack of available ice rinks in Iran or any other bordering country the team realizes that they are the undefeated champions of the league and go around the country posing for pictures with their trophy "The Khomeini Cup".

[AzariLoveIran]

.

Cincinnatus left for a deployment to Guam and after 14 months of sweating non stop logged back into the forum and was flagged by the department of homeland defense because of the amount of stories posted by Azeri. They thought that the forum had become a Persian news forum due to the amount of Iranian news and cultural posts. After logging in the google bot sent a message to SATCOM which designated him a threat to US security and he was court martialed for being a subversive. He is now doing hard labor flying drone missions from a detention facility in Poland. Good news, the weather is much better there.

.

I'm doing a service here for American (so called) intelligence community

Instead of interviewing Iranian truck drivers entering Afghanistan to find out what is going on in Iran, they just need to read Azari posts to know what really cookin in our beloved Persia

but

no

they watching Porno instead reading Azari's posts


.

[Hoosiernorm]

.

Cincinnatus left for a deployment to Guam and after 14 months of sweating non stop logged back into the forum and was flagged by the department of homeland defense because of the amount of stories posted by Azeri. They thought that the forum had become a Persian news forum due to the amount of Iranian news and cultural posts. After logging in the google bot sent a message to SATCOM which designated him a threat to US security and he was court martialed for being a subversive. He is now doing hard labor flying drone missions from a detention facility in Poland. Good news, the weather is much better there.

.

I'm doing a service here for American (so called) intelligence community

Instead of interviewing Iranian truck drivers entering Afghanistan to find out what is going on in Iran, they just need to read Azari posts to know what really cookin in our beloved Persia

but

no

they watching Porno instead reading Azari's posts


.

Maybe you should concentrate on becoming an Iranian Porn Icon then, you would be doing your people a service.

[Typhoon]

.

Cincinnatus left for a deployment to Guam and after 14 months of sweating non stop logged back into the forum and was flagged by the department of homeland defense because of the amount of stories posted by Azeri. They thought that the forum had become a Persian news forum due to the amount of Iranian news and cultural posts. After logging in the google bot sent a message to SATCOM which designated him a threat to US security and he was court martialed for being a subversive. He is now doing hard labor flying drone missions from a detention facility in Poland. Good news, the weather is much better there.

.

I'm doing a service here for American (so called) intelligence community

Instead of interviewing Iranian truck drivers entering Afghanistan to find out what is going on in Iran, they just need to read Azari posts to know what really cookin in our beloved Persia

but

no

they watching Porno instead reading Azari's posts


.

Maybe you should concentrate on becoming an Iranian Porn Icon then, you would be doing your people a service.

Azari could start a variation on the Naked News theme:

Naked Intelligence Briefings.

[Simple Minded]

Maybe you should concentrate on becoming an Iranian Porn Icon then, you would be doing your people a service.

Azari could start a variation on the Naked News theme:

Naked Intelligence Briefings.

Before endorsing this strategy, I need to see some pictures. I thought Azari was male. But male far enough north in Canada, and female elsewhere...... six of one... half dozen of the other...

[Hoosiernorm]

Marcus signs up for an all American Cowboy festival online and through a flight delay and tour bus misrouting ends up at the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. While he is explaining to someone that they not only have bears up where he is from but they are in fact grizzly bears he is approached and propositioned, but before he can even think he grabs a bull whip and attempts to defend his honor. His skill and determination earn him much public admiration and he is crowned "Bear of the Ball" by both the leather crowd and the BSDM crowd. He returns home to get his eyes examined and next year will not book himself on a "Bassmasters" tour that coincides with an "Assmasters" tour.

That little print is hard to read without the correct spectacles.

[Hoosiernorm]

YMix suffers the decline of the European market, the end of the war, and drug legalization with far worse personal implications. He now has nothing to bitch about and he is still Romanian. He decides to marry a religious fanatic who won't have sex with him and spends all day trying to convert him to Catholicism. They are very happy and fight all day about what color to paint the kitchen. They are planning a pilgrimage to Israel where they will both have something more personal to complain about, the horrible hotels in the palestinian sector, the high prices at the christian sector, and of course the Jews.

[YMix]

He now has nothing to bitch about and he is still Romanian.

[Marcus]

Marcus signs up for an all American Cowboy festival online and through a flight delay and tour bus misrouting ends up at the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. While he is explaining to someone that they not only have bears up where he is from but they are in fact grizzly bears he is approached and propositioned, but before he can even think he grabs a bull whip and attempts to defend his honor. His skill and determination earn him much public admiration and he is crowned "Bear of the Ball" by both the leather crowd and the BSDM crowd. He returns home to get his eyes examined and next year will not book himself on a "Bassmasters" tour that coincides with an "Assmasters" tour.

That little print is hard to read without the correct spectacles.

You the one needs their eyes checked, Hoosier . . hell, that's Ib yer talkin' about . . I'm too busy puttin' up salmon to go anywhere . .