Levitas

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Thu Jan 19, 2012 4:04 pm

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Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:36 am

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Simple Minded · Post by **Simple Minded** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 1:01 pm

Descartes walks into a bar....
Bartender: "Care for a drink?"
Descartes: "I think not!"
Poof he vanishes....

Four guys are sitting at a lunch table discussing sexual techniques for driving their wives or girlfriends wild.
The young guys are talking about touch, timing, sequence, erogenous zones, etc.
The old guy says "You guys are putting way too much work into this. After we have sex, I get up and wipe my dick on the curtains. It makes my wife crazy!"

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:43 pm

Nonc Hilaire · Post by **Nonc Hilaire** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 2:13 am

How about those two gay Irishmen, Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael?

Azrael · Post by **Azrael** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 5:40 am

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Dali Lama doesn't get pizza joke . . . neither do I.

Hoosiernorm · Post by **Hoosiernorm** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:07 pm

Hoosiernorm · Post by **Hoosiernorm** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:21 pm

Azrael wrote:Dali Lama doesn't get pizza joke . . . neither do I.

To be one with nature and the universe is a western view of Buddhism that most Americans understand because they just don't know that much about Buddhism. So of course then a person who is seeking to be one with nature would of course order a pizza with everything because he seeks to be joined with the universe which is everything.

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 6:41 pm

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so loudly all night.
They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man.
The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and watched me all night."

Azrael · Post by **Azrael** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 8:24 pm

Hoosiernorm wrote:
Azrael wrote:Dali Lama doesn't get pizza joke . . . neither do I.
To be one with nature and the universe is a western view of Buddhism that most Americans understand because they just don't know that much about Buddhism. So of course then a person who is seeking to be one with nature would of course order a pizza with everything because he seeks to be joined with the universe which is everything.

Thanks.

You know what they say about a joke you have to explain . . . not a good joke. I would hope that if I were going to tell a joke to the Dali Lama I'd have a better joke.

Hoosiernorm · Post by **Hoosiernorm** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:28 pm

Azrael wrote:
Hoosiernorm wrote:
Azrael wrote:Dali Lama doesn't get pizza joke . . . neither do I.
To be one with nature and the universe is a western view of Buddhism that most Americans understand because they just don't know that much about Buddhism. So of course then a person who is seeking to be one with nature would of course order a pizza with everything because he seeks to be joined with the universe which is everything.
Thanks.

You know what they say about a joke you have to explain . . . not a good joke. I would hope that if I were going to tell a joke to the Dali Lama I'd have a better joke.

Well when you factor in the concept of reincarnation you also have to wonder if he's already heard the joke before...

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:44 pm

Hoosiernorm wrote:
Azrael wrote:
Hoosiernorm wrote:
Azrael wrote:Dali Lama doesn't get pizza joke . . . neither do I.
To be one with nature and the universe is a western view of Buddhism that most Americans understand because they just don't know that much about Buddhism. So of course then a person who is seeking to be one with nature would of course order a pizza with everything because he seeks to be joined with the universe which is everything.
Thanks.

You know what they say about a joke you have to explain . . . not a good joke. I would hope that if I were going to tell a joke to the Dali Lama I'd have a better joke.
Well when you factor in the concept of reincarnation you also have to wonder if he's already heard the joke before...

Well, it is a funny joke, regardless.

The Dalai Lama, unfamiliar with American fast food habits, is surprised to see a hot dog cart in mid city Manhattan.
"What is that?"
"That's a hot dog stand, venerable sir," his monks answer.
"I think I'd like to try one", say the Dalai Lama and he and his entourage approach the cart.
The hot dog vendor asks the Dalai Lama, "You want mustard, onion, chili, ketchup, or pickles with that dog?
"Make me one with everything" he replies.

The hot dog maker looks him up and down, hands him the [vegetarian tofu] hot dog piled high, and announces,
"That'll be five bucks."
The Dalai Lama hands him a twenty dollar bill and waits.
The man goes about his business.
And after a long time, the Dalai Lama says, "Pardon me, but I'm waiting for my change"
The vendor looks him up and down again,
"Change comes from within."

Parodite · Post by **Parodite** » Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:20 pm

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Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:27 pm

Well, if we're going look to at soldiers marching, then

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Parodite · Post by **Parodite** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 1:30 am

Typhoon wrote:Well, if we're going look to at soldiers marching, then

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The real deal

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:32 am

[Three Japanese girls missing. Man with serious indigestion being held for questioning.]

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:16 am

Hoosiernorm · Post by **Hoosiernorm** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 6:02 am

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:36 pm

From Chairman Mao to Chairman Buffet

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:43 pm

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Mon Jan 23, 2012 9:29 pm

[Martial arts so-called training]

Nonc Hilaire · Post by **Nonc Hilaire** » Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:40 am

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Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:17 am

arXiv physics paper titles

The axis of evil

Local Pancake Defeats Axis of Evil

A Fly in the SOUP

Brane New World

Deconstructing Noncommutativity with a Giant Fuzzy Moose

Nutty Bubbles

Nuttier Bubbles

Decapitating Tadpoles

etc.

Typhoon · Post by **Typhoon** » Wed Jan 25, 2012 4:06 am

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noddy · Post by **noddy** » Wed Jan 25, 2012 4:10 am

When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied "off course”

I like my women how I like my Italian Cruises - wet, wrecked and ready to go down.

Costa Concordia - the only place where you are guaranteed to get your drinks on the rocks

If I ever happen to accidentally trip up and fall into a lifeboat during my lifetime, I know it's unlikely, but I hope that I happen to be on a sinking ship at the time.

The captain of the Costa Concordia is maintaining he only abandoned ship before the passengers because he tripped and fell in to a life boat. I find this very feasible as I once accidentally tripped and my penis fell in to my wife's sister.

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