Levitas

Tea is nought but this: first you heat the water, then you make the tea. Then you drink it properly.
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Heracleum Persicum
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Re: Levitas

Post by Heracleum Persicum »

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MT. VERNON, TEXAS, WHOREHOUSE SUES LOCAL CHURCH

Diamond D's brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business. In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding -- with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church.

Work on Diamond D's progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground!

After the cat-house was burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of prayer."

But late last week 'Big Jugs' Jill Diamond, the owner/madam, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church ... "was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business -- either through direct or indirect divine actions or means."

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and voraciously denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.
The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply, and at the opening hearing he commented:

"I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that thinks it's bullshit."

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Heracleum Persicum
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Re: Levitas

Post by Heracleum Persicum »

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A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St Lukes hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr Maynard was actually admitted in Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his eyesight..."

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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

Post by Typhoon »

Image

Image
May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
Simple Minded

Re: Levitas

Post by Simple Minded »

Heracleum Persicum wrote:.

.

MT. VERNON, TEXAS, WHOREHOUSE SUES LOCAL CHURCH

Diamond D's brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business. In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding -- with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church.

Work on Diamond D's progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground!

After the cat-house was burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of prayer."

But late last week 'Big Jugs' Jill Diamond, the owner/madam, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church ... "was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business -- either through direct or indirect divine actions or means."

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and voraciously denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.
The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply, and at the opening hearing he commented:

"I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that thinks it's bullshit."
Great post! :lol: the judge's accessment is one of the best observations of the human desire to have it both ways I have ever read. Smart man/woman.
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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

Post by Typhoon »

Image
May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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Taboo
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Re: Levitas

Post by Taboo »

YMix wrote:1yD8PzFFNFU
Pure Gold. Thanks, YMix!
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Nonc Hilaire
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I found Ibrahim's office!

Post by Nonc Hilaire »

Image
“Christ has no body now but yours. Yours are the eyes through which he looks with compassion on this world. Yours are the feet with which he walks among His people to do good. Yours are the hands through which he blesses His creation.”

Teresa of Ávila
Simple Minded

Re: I found Ibrahim's office!

Post by Simple Minded »

Nonc Hilaire wrote:Image
Excellente' :D

What city is this? I might want to hire this guy......
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YMix
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Re: Levitas

Post by YMix »

0ilMx7k7mso
“There are a lot of killers. We’ve got a lot of killers. What, do you think our country’s so innocent? Take a look at what we’ve done, too.” - Donald J. Trump, President of the USA
The Kushner sh*t is greasy - Stevie B.
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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

Post by Typhoon »

Image
May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

Post by Typhoon »

Image
May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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Hans Bulvai
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Re: I found Ibrahim's office!

Post by Hans Bulvai »

Simple Minded wrote:
Nonc Hilaire wrote:Image
Excellente' :D

What city is this? I might want to hire this guy......
OMAN

http://milflawfirm.com/mainenglish.html
I don't buy supremacy
Media chief
You menace me
The people you say
'Cause all the crime
Wake up motherfucker
And smell the slime
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Typhoon
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Re: I found Ibrahim's office!

Post by Typhoon »

Hans Bulvai wrote:
Simple Minded wrote:
Nonc Hilaire wrote:Image
Excellente' :D

What city is this? I might want to hire this guy......
OMAN

http://milflawfirm.com/mainenglish.html
Does he specialize in divorce cases?
May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

Post by Typhoon »

May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

Post by Typhoon »

Nlb-QLkjbZU
May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

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Image
May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

Post by Typhoon »

2txpgtIt4Gw

[NSFW in N Am and elsewhere]
May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

Post by Typhoon »

Image
May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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Miss_Faucie_Fishtits
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Re: Levitas

Post by Miss_Faucie_Fishtits »

and you know what's gonna happen.......;>.........
She irons her jeans, she's evil.........
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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

Post by Typhoon »

Image
May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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Miss_Faucie_Fishtits
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Re: Levitas

Post by Miss_Faucie_Fishtits »

bust ass.......'>.........
She irons her jeans, she's evil.........
Simple Minded

Re: Levitas

Post by Simple Minded »

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go up stairs and give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.

He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'
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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

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M__wA7E7Vo0
May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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YMix
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Re: Levitas

Post by YMix »

Image

Not a photoshop.
“There are a lot of killers. We’ve got a lot of killers. What, do you think our country’s so innocent? Take a look at what we’ve done, too.” - Donald J. Trump, President of the USA
The Kushner sh*t is greasy - Stevie B.
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Typhoon
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Re: Levitas

Post by Typhoon »

May the gods preserve and defend me from self-righteous altruists; I can defend myself from my enemies and my friends.
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